In the online Family & Friends meetings that I facilitate, one of the more difficult issues that sometimes arises is the decision whether to end a relationship with a family member struggling with addictive behavior. Faced with the frustration, exhaustion, and negative emotions that have developed, many people reach a place of hopelessness before coming to a meeting.

New participants are encouraged to learn that our approach, which uses evidence-based methods, is very different than what they are familiar with. Generally they have heard the wider cultural norm of “kick them to the curb” and “let them hit rock bottom.” When participants hear the experiences of others practicing the SMART tools, they typically feel some relief that they may be able to do something to help themselves and resuscitate the relationship with their loved one.

Continue reading as Kathy Lang, a Family & Friends facilitator, shares the tools she uses in her meetings to help participants make this decision to end it.